Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
