Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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