i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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