Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
