we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
