it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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