Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
