big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
