I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We were destined to go to rehab together
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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