Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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