The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
