Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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