Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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