just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
