Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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