He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
