12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
