so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
