just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
