Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
