dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
