You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
