i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
