well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
