I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
