considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
