I'm so fucking centered right now
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
