like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
