We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
