So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I AM VODKA MAN
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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