Sry I called you an 8
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
