How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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