so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
