Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
