do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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