Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Mom said you looked used
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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