you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
