At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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