No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
