She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
