There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
tell me about the fingering
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