How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
