Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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