Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
