We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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