Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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