Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
