apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
