Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
