I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
