I got chris browned last night
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
PANTIES FOUND
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize