I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
