maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We don't watch enough power rangers
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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