There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
