It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
