I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
