Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
