you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
