im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
